Today is launch day for Born in Lockdown, our one-of-a-kind story with 277 authors and one shared experience: becoming a new mother in 2020. You can download it HERE. As a book, Born in Lockdown is an important piece of social history; as a project, it’s testament to the power of creativity to help us through tough times, and the cathartic benefits of writing. We couldn’t be more proud of it.
As Mothership founder Emylia Hall writes in the introduction to the book, ‘as you read, you’ll be hearing 277 different voices from all across the UK (including a few from overseas too): overlapping, echoing, and sometimes opposing. No single author’s fragments appear side by side. All the writers’ words are verbatim and unedited – and every single one deserves to be read.
You’ll notice the recurring themes of the missing ‘village,’ of isolation and uncertainty, and the extra pressures on mental health, just as you’ll also read of silver linings, new connections, and incredible gifts. Altogether, our book is a remarkable record of new motherhood at this time; an unflinchingly honest and moving account, where – despite the pain and hardship – such love and hope shine through.’
While Born in Lockdown is free for anyone to read, if you can afford it, we’d love it if you’d make a donation, however, small, to the brilliant charity Sands.
We’re very grateful to the 277 new mums who put pen to paper through the 2nd lockdown, establishing a daily writing practice, and trusting us with their stories. Let’s meet a few of these amazing writers, and hear why they wanted to make their voices heard …
MEET JULIETTE from Bristol. Juliette says, ‘Sands is a wonderful charity very dear to my heart. In autumn 2018 my son Daniel was stillborn and Sands provided invaluable support to me at this time and throughout my subsequent pregnancy.’
‘Pregnancy after a loss is incredibly stressful and with the onset of the Coronavirus pandemic the anxiety was often overwhelming. Throughout my pregnancy I was suffering with PTSD which made hospital appointments and scans extremely triggering. As the pandemic progressed I had to face these and the early stages of labour alone. With immense gratitude and a tremendous sigh of relief our beautiful daughter Chloe was born safely in May 2020. A little sister to our beloved Daniel.’
‘The Born in Lockdown project for me was a way to process what I had been through in pregnancy and as a new mum during the pandemic. Contributing to this creative and collaborative project was an opportunity to document a very unique moment in time. It also provided a wonderful feeling of community during what was, and still is, a very isolating time as a new mother.’
MEET ROXY from Manchester. Roxy says, ‘Becoming a mother for the first time in 2020 was the most bizarre and unexpected experience! I’ll never forget having to wear a mask throughout my emergency c-section and walking out of the hospital to security guards and barriers.’
‘Being isolated as a new parent had been my worst nightmare, so it was tough for it to have come true. With the added stress of our baby being readmitted to hospital for surgery at seven weeks old, and later, my Dad dying from Covid-19, I developed postnatal depression. I think, as a Neonatal Nurse, people just expected me to know what to do, regardless – and I probably expected it of myself, too! ‘
‘I feel lucky that a Health Visitor at the SureStart centre drew my attention to the Born in Lockdown project. Everyone has been facing their own unique challenges during the pandemic, so I felt the pressure to put on a ‘brave face’. The Born in Lockdown project gave me the chance to express myself more honestly and to feel that bit more connected to other mums in a situation where the ‘normal’ places to get together have been taken away from us.’
MEET JADE from the South-East. Jade says, ‘We often hear how 2020 was an unprecedented year. From the pandemic to the BLM movement, the way in which we interacted with each other and viewed the world changed beyond comprehension. ‘
‘For me 2020 was also an unprecedented year emotionally. Being pregnant, raising a toddler and then giving birth, amongst news stories stating how the pandemic was disproportionately affecting black communities and black mothers, added an extra layer of complexity and emotional strain I didn’t think was possible.’
‘So when the opportunity came to document what it was like to be a mum in lockdown, I jumped at the chance. I saw this as an opportunity to begin to verbalise the different emotions I was experiencing as well as understanding the experiences of other mothers too. It was a chance to reflect not just on hard times but the many blessings I had encountered during this time.’
MEET CHARLOTTE from Hertfordshire. Charlotte says, ‘I saw the Born in Lockdown project shared on Instagram and felt compelled to get involved and share a fragment of my experience as a second time mum in 2020. I suffered with PND after my first baby and wanted my experience to be so different this time, however the challenges and isolation of 2020 hit me hard. They say ‘it takes a village’ to raise a child and my village was unable to be with us. I was left navigating mothering a newborn and two-year-old alone, severely sleep deprived whilst my husband worked all the hours possible to recoup losses from 4 months of being unable to work.’
‘I am sure my story is not unique, nor am I alone in experiencing PND or grieving for what my 2020 motherhood journey could have been without Covid-19. I wanted to share a small snippet of my journey in the hope it will help open up more honest conversations about the challenges of motherhood and maternal mental health in 2020 and beyond.’
MEET LISA from London. Lisa says, ‘I was six months pregnant when I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I gave birth prematurely in early 2020 then started chemotherapy a month before we went into lockdown. In the six weeks between diagnosis and birth, I’d come to terms with my second experience of motherhood being very different to my first; what I didn’t anticipate was how different it would be for so many. ‘
‘When pregnant, I joined a group of other soon-to-be mums online, a community which became an unparalleled source of support during an unprecedented year, and it was in this group that one of our members shared the Born in Lockdown project. I’m an avid reader and former bookseller, but as an adult I’ve only dabbled in creative writing. I felt like I had things I wanted to say, but no idea how to find the time between nappy changes and hospital appointments to start saying them - this project seemed a good place to start!’
‘I still have a lot to process from a year (and counting) of parenting and being a cancer patient during a pandemic, but being part of this amazing collaborative work has been cathartic, inspirational and humbling. I can’t wait to read it.’
MEET FARRAH from London. Farrah says, 'I heard about Born in Lockdown through Twitter while I was still in hospital with my twins. Due to some complications we had a protracted stay and even though I was exhausted I'd woken up while they were sleeping so was mindlessly scrolling. My first thought was ‘I don't have time, I've got newborn twins and a toddler at home’ but my second was ‘I'd really like to.’ I love to write as much as I love to read. I'd found audio books a sanity saviour with my eldest and thought maybe these short pieces could be my gateway back to writing and clearing the chaos in mind with three kids under three during lockdown 2. I asked if I was eligible given the twins weren't my first and Emylia's reply was so quick and kind I thought OK, I'll try. She sent such comprehensive guidance even my frazzled mind could follow and so I did.’
‘As I recalled and recorded my experiences, I felt the fog of nappies, feeds, concerns about the dreaded latch lift. For a few minutes, by writing a few sentences I was me again. Not a mum of three but Farrah.’
‘I found out I was pregnant just before lockdown 1 and gave birth in lockdown 2. Having a high-risk pregnancy isn't ideal anytime but the pandemic added a layer of fear I couldn't shake, no matter how wonderful the NHS staff were. I'd sit alone in waiting rooms knowing my loved ones were, WiFi willing, a few buttons away but technology cannot replace touch. ‘
‘In the weeks leading up to their birth I was submerged in a world of worry as I saw Covid cases rise. Some of those worries became reality and others fizzled away replaced by new ones. Who could safely look after our toddler if my husband came to the birth? Would he be allowed? If so, for how long? Was it fair to ask anyone to look after our toddler, given we'd have been more exposed to people at the hospital? The questions whirled and as the news got worse my anxiety rose. Logically I knew I wasn't alone experiencing this, I saw pregnant women at every appointment, heard them on the labour ward and their babies cry on the postnatal ward but it has felt lovely being part of a collective wanting to write about it.'
MEET TESSA from Somerset. Tessa says, ‘I’m an older, single, queer, parent by choice who got involved with Mothership Writers after the birth of my first child back in 2018. Those regular meet-ups provided a structure through which to document the intensity of that time which otherwise felt too vast to channel through something as focussed as the nib of a pen. Those fragments will journey with us through my firstborn’s life, and I’m so grateful to the Mothership for getting us there.’
‘As that course culminated, I had gotten pregnant with my second and was getting to grips with that as a life choice and finding faith in the decisions I’d made as a person with a precarious life and a lot of responsibility. I wrote Alarm Bells Sound then (included in the Mothership Writers anthology Dispatches from New Motherhood). In this next project, Born in Lockdown, I gave birth to my second in surprising circumstances and enjoyed feeling part of a collective voice in this time of isolation. Mothership helped us document this journey.’
MEET NAOMI from Oxfordshire. Naomi says, ‘When I started my second (and likely final) maternity leave last July, I was still under the delusion that things would be back to normal soon and I would have so much ordinary time with my son. However, it soon became clear that that wouldn't be happening, with a traumatic, lonely labour, limited visits from grandparents, baby groups on Zoom, and months where the only thing allowed to break the monotony was a walk with the buggy. My friend suggested that I start to write, and passed me the details of the Born in Lockdown Project.’
‘Writing my fragments really helped me to organise my anxieties around having a baby in the pandemic. It also helped me to pick out the small positives in each day, and knowing that there were 276 more 2020 mums writing for it too helped me feel part of a community and less alone in my experiences. Since the project finished, I have continued to use writing as an outlet, and believe this to have had a positive impact on my current mental health.’
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THANK YOU to every single one of our 277 Born in Lockdown writers. You are all amazing. We hope that our book helps new mums feel less alone, while letting the rest of us understand what it was like to become a new mother in 2020. And to remind us, ultimately, that we’re all in this together.
