This week’s Dispatches from New Motherhood treat is a sequence of three poems – OUR FIRST YEAR – by Maria Hodson. In MORNING, DISCOVERY, and WISDOM Maria writes beautifully and intimately of those first moments upon waking, of wonders big and small, and of a mother’s message to her son.
Maria says, ‘I'd had a foggy sense during early motherhood of having lost myself, and of feeling very grey, but when I came to reread my work, I found there was much more clarity and joy in my outlook than I had realised at the time. I hope these offerings can be a reminder that there is beauty in motherhood, even when days can feel exhaustingly repetitive and mundane, and that there are quiet rewards, although our work often takes place without recognition.’
Of her writing process, Maria says ‘Once I got into the swing of the course, I wrote as often as possible - during Finn's naps, in the morning, late at night - especially whenever I noticed a powerful or difficult feeling rising up.’ At the end of the course Maria typed up all of the work that she’d produced in the sessions, creating a file. ‘It really helped me to navigate the turbulent waters of new motherhood, and I am proud to have a rich, honest and raw body of work that documents my first year and more with Finn. It's unedited and it's not always easy for me to read, but it exists, and that is wonderful.’
We’re delighted to share Maria’s tender – and wonderful – trio of poems here.
***
Our First Year
Maria Hodson
Morning
You stir and babble,
Little experiments of voice and breath.
I hear each call clearly;
The happy chatter, the plaintive cry.
Please sleep.
Rest is so sweet …
But for you, action is best.
It is morning by your clock.
I lie in the dark, willing your return to the deep,
While listening as you greet the world.
For now, you are happy with the sound
Of your voice in the silence,
Entranced by your baby notes
In the great beyond.
I wait until you begin to call for me –
Not by name but by intonation –
And despite my exhaustion,
I answer your plea for our day to begin.
Discovery
You now know the moon
And point it out in books and from the street
On those winter mornings and early nights
When it shines on.
Crescent, circle, sliver,
Wispy or fulsome.
You also show me clocks
And spoons of all sizes,
Aeroplanes and birds:
Crows, seagulls, pigeons,
A jay, if we’re lucky.
You notice mugs and want to hold them,
Unaware of the dangers that lurk within.
Hot tea!
You like illustrations of mice and snails and caterpillars;
And, perhaps most of all, you love lights,
The orbs that hang from above and illuminate your world.
Wisdom
Be strong, be wise, be fair,
Be brave, be bold, be true,
Be light, be bright, be clear,
Be calm, be still, be you.
***
Our First Year by Maria Hodson appears in the Mothership Writers anthology Dispatches from New Motherhood. All 50 pieces from the book will be published here over the year to come, creating an online library of what it really means – right here, right now – to be a new mother.